I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
