Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
