The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize