you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
