..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
