i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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