don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We got so high we made milksteak
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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