Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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