Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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