I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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