I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize