I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
