you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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