sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
