Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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