somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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