And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
