Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we're making bets on your personal life
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
