im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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