i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
