she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
