u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
