best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
