What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
