I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
pray to the hookup gods
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
