If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
