careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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