You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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