She announced her abortion via fbk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize