I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize