his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
