I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
