I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
