YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
