also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
