And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
