I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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