I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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