I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize