the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
