she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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