some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
