I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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