I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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