I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
