yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
