apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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