She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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