Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
