the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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