We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
