white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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