I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
