Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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