this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ttyl tear gas
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
