At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
