A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
