Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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