OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
