i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
