Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
