I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
