Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
