im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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