I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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