i would punch a child for taco bell
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
