since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
