What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
