Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
