okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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