At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
