I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Someone shattered a urinal.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
