My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
