Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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