he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
