she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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