No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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