I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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