then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
