Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
PANTIES FOUND
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
