i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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