I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
